So I get myself into situations that probably are not the best. I do things that I never thought in a million years I would do. Then it comes back to slap me in the face. Life is full of learning and I need to learn things the hard way. A friend once called it lessons to the heart, and usually it goes straight to my heart. There is so much I would like to say, unfortunately I dont know who my audience or even if I have an audience.
There are still plenty of things that I can share. Life seems good today. I am tan and the sun shines here more then I thought was possible this side of the equator, I have people all around me that love me, I am slowly (but surely) loosing weight, and my self esteem is better then it has been in years. I do miss home, I miss my mom and my true friends, I miss my church and the fellowship of other believers. But life is always good when you get to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ. I know that it may sound corny and cheesey and christianisey but it is more true than anything else. I pray right now that the message does not fall on deaf ears but rather that the Lord opens ears and removes the scales from eyes....
I miss the smell of fall in the air and the crispness of the breeze, I miss going to niagara falls and skiing.
I am learning that I am an attractive young lady and that I dont think it is so much my looks and as much as what God does in my life. He has blessed me greatly and I pray that I continue to grow in HIM and that I would allow HIM to grow me to be the woman he wants me to be. Even though I make stupid choices.
People confuse me. Mostly people of the opposite gender. I am thankful that I ended my relationship with my ex though. I think he is a good man, and there are many times I miss him. But the more I learn who I am again, the more I learn how much I gave up for him and that he was not right for me, and as much as I wanted to be that one person to make him happy and whole it wasn't me. I still check in on his life. When I use to do this it would make me terribly sad, now I am not sad for me but for him. After a month of dating someone I dont think you can be in love, it is called infatuation especially if it is a long distance relationship. He was not able to give me what I needed and I did not want to live that way. I want a love that is going to last a lifetime through hell and high water and a love that folks will be jealous of... it will not be a love that was made of men but a true love that comes from my magnificant creator!
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